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Writer's pictureIan BDSM Coach

Protection - also necessary for Doms?

Whether or not a Dom/Master should be protected is a difficult question, because Doms could feel challenged in their dominance.


First of all, I would like to explain the concept and necessity of “protection”.

If you have met someone over the internet or a newspaper ad and decide to meet, you should inform a person you trust. This person should know where and when you meet and what you planned. The person to be protected regularly gives status messages as to whether everything is alright. These status messages should be encrypted so that a forced statement can be prevented. A text message with the words "I'm fine and the guy is totally nice" can mean "I'm in danger, help me". In contrast, for example, "blue sun" can mean "all right". You should agree exact wording. Any deviation means "imminent danger, help me".


People you "get to know" via the net are not really known. Even stimulating correspondence and sympathetic phone calls do not help to recognize whether it is a trustworthy person. Dodgers are often very empathic. A later proof of a crime or a fraud is especially difficult, if you have previously written extensively about BDSM.

For all the fun of the unknown, the kick that comes from meeting a stranger, protection doesn’t destroy that fantasy and is a tool to prevent damage.


Positioning apps can help. For example, there is a function of mobile phone tracking without the device displaying a message. To do this, you must provide the person of trust with the password with a temporary password. In case of emergency help is on the way fast.


Of course, covers are more important to a submissive young woman than to a fifty-year-old Dom two meters tall and engaged in martial arts. But he too can get into dangerous situations. There's a Dom chatting with a pretty potential sub, talking to her, and making an appointment. He wants to meet in a good hotel, go to an expensive restaurant with her and then play in a studio. When he arrives, however, the dream date turns out to be a trap and the car, money, cell phone and papers are gone. He also has no chance against five strong guys. Of course, that does not happen often, but it's a real danger that you can protect yourself from.


Protecting is useful for anyone who plays in the field of BDSM. There are many ways to be protected, for example by dedicated friends. However, some do not want to come out to their friends, or your acquaintances are not reliable enough. I also offer this service to clients or their friends. It is important that you are sure of the reliability of the protecting person.

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